A Tale of How I Defeated A Ferocious Beach Invader

Rated top beach in New Zealand blah blah blah only 20 minutes from Auckland yata yata. LISTEN! Nobody likes ranking things more than I do, but we have a mystery to solve. A strange, pink (well, purple really) blob-like object threatens to cover the entire western coastline! Okay, maybe there were about 10, BUT STILL!  

It's an invasion!
It’s an invasion!

It all started on a buzzing Saturday evening (quiet Tuesday afternoon) as we decided to hit up Kare Kare, just south of Piha. After parking my beast of a vehicle (20 yr old bucket) and using the latest in anti-theft technology (a simple lock, no remote) we started the grueling hike (10 min brisk walk) to the beach. We bravely cossed dangerous terrain (whimpered across ankle deep water) and acknowledged fellow adventurers (school children) before picking a spot to sit down and consume our protein shakes (chilled orange juice, with picnic sandwiches). Suddenly, I felt the need to bathe myself (dip my toes) in the roaring waves that lay before me. It was then that I came across the first ferocious blob.

Ferocious blob

A damsel in distress
A damsel in distress

At first, I tried not to let this demon bother me, but before long, it became apparent that the public was in danger. Remembering my CIA training, I decided to document this object to find the source of the scurge. As I ran across the length of the beach in what can only be described as “Baywatch-esque” fashion (fat dude in shorts), I came across more and more of this animal that had infected this precious beach like a plague.

What a beautiful picture, if not for that THING!
What a beautiful picture, if not for that THING!

Enough was ENOUGH!

Foot for comparison
Foot for comparison

Risking life and limb, I decided to finish them off. I pulled out an arrow (thin branch) from my quiver (the floor) and pierced the unknown object until I was sure it was no longer a threat to society. I cheered and hollered to show off my triumph. The locals gave me they key to the city, and the rest will live in Kare Kare folklore.

You're mine!
You’re mine!

TL;DR – Went to Kare Kare. Saw a couple of dead sea animals. They were probably jellyfish. The beach was nice. I went a little mad. Took tons of pictures of said jellyfish.

Oh, there was a waterfall too.

Waterfall Kare Kare

Julio Moreno
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