Dear Korea,
It has been an amazing ride, but the time has come for me to move on. I know it is kind of a cliché, but it really is NOT you, and it really IS me (well, mostly). You have been lovely for the last four years, but I just want to try something new. I know these break up letters are usually filled with lies to ‘let you down easy’ and not ‘hurt you further,’ but I think you deserve the truth.
Size does Matter
I know, I know, I am supposed to not hurt your pride and say that ‘size doesn’t matter’ but you know what, at the end of the day, it really does. I mean, if you were, say, the size of India, there would be no complaints. But you are barely over 100,000 square km! By comparison, my last partner, the US of A, is 98 times bigger. Sorry, but I have explored pretty much your whole area and little excites me anymore.
Your World Heritage Sites
Around two years ago, our relationship was totally rekindled when I got into UNESCO World Heritage Sites and found out you had 10 (11 now!) That was awesome and I really enjoyed photographing you in all your naked glory. But quite frankly, I’ve seen them all! Most more than once. It is time to see what other countries have to offer. Don’t worry, I will continue telling others how awesome you are and how everyone should try your sites, but it just isn’t for me anymore.
Working You Down
The work you provided me was great and the money was really good too. I totally felt like you were my sugar daddy at times, buying me expensive things. Like, remember when I was able to pay off all of my debt? Yeah that felt great! How about the time when you got me this awesome computer I use to this day? Don’t get me wrong, I am totally grateful for all of these things. However, there comes a time in everyone’s life when money alone is not enough.
My New Partner
I know that although our future together is all but sealed, you still want to know who my new partner, or ‘host country’ like they call, is. Why do you do this to yourself?! Do you enjoy being hurt? I just want to ease your mind by assuring you that I am not going back to that jerk ‘Mericuh.’ I know I went to visit him a few months ago, but it was totally just a fling, I swear.
My new host is sweet, slim, and actually twice your size. You might of heard of him… he goes by the name of ‘New Zealand.’ Now, I know what you’re thinking: “What the hell, the geography is almost the same?!” but you are kidding yourself. They might have north and south, but quite frankly, the north island isn’t pointing nuclear weapons at Christchurch. One of the things that bothered me about you the most is how you are always fighting with your neighbors and friends.
“We were always one Korea” is what you kept telling me our whole relationship. Well you know what, I really don’t care about your past baggage. Furthermore, the constant squabbles with Japan about two insignificant islands YOU ALREADY CONTROL is just childish. Who cares about Dokdo and its wonderful tuna anyways.
This Really is Goodbye
I know that no matter what, you will always hold a special place in my heart, but it is time to move on. I promise to visit sometime and I will definitely continue blogging about you, but I will be looking forward and not back. Before I move in with my new partner, I am going on vacation to South East Asia to clear my head and things things over.
I will forever love you Korea, but this is goodbye.
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